Friday, May 6, 2016

THE LAST BLOG POST OF THE SEMESTER AKA Peer Review for Sarah Moskowitz

In this blog post I will be peer editing a final draft for a student that is not in my section! I am very excited to do this blog post because after this I am done!!!!!!!!!!! So lets get to it

Audience Question:
How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

  • I practiced my editorial skills by reading Sarah's final draft and commenting on the genre conventions that her SCE fulfilled.
Author Response:
  • Sarah did a really great job of staying formal while talking about herself. A SCE is often quite formal by nature and Sarah did a great job or respecting that while still fulfilling what was needed form a content standpoint. I commented mainly on the Genre conventions of a SCE because I have completed that genre and have looked at many examples throughout the year. I think I helped Sarah in confirming that she should feel confident in what she created, her essay is strong, well written, and  meets all of the conventions of an essay.
My Peer review for Sarah can be found here


Editorial Report Numba Two

In this blog post I will be providing comparisons between my raw content and my final project. My raw content is in written, script form and my final project is a video essay.

Audience Questions:
How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

  • The content changed a lot. When I was making the script I thought that I would be able to read the script as I was filming but I was very wrong and so the video itself sounds almost nothing like the script I had initially intended on reading.

How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
  • Written to recorded. The written was just the basis for the final project. So the form is very VERY different here.

Author Response:
Rough Cut
  •  Hi Im Julia Davenport and welcome to my second segment of what I think about that. In this segment I will be reflecting on my year as an englih student and I will be talking about the projects and genres individually, 
Final Cut

    Editorial Report Numba One

    In this blog post I will be providing comparisons between my raw content and my final project. My raw content is in written, script form and my final project is a video essay.

    Audience Questions:
    How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

    • The content changed a lot. When I was making the script I thought that I would be able to read the script as I was filming but I was very wrong and so the video itself sounds almost nothing like the script I had initially intended on reading.

    How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
    • Written to recorded. The written was just the basis for the final project. So the form is very VERY different here.

    Author Response:
    Rough Cut
    •  Introduction with graphic
      • Title Page
      • Music
      • Topic
      • Name
    Final Cut

    Open Post to Peer Reviewers

    In this blog post I will be providing a link to my final project as well as talking about what I'd like commentary and help on before turning this bad boy in a few hours!

    My Video Essay Can be found Here

    Audience Question:
    What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?

    • Well there is no post production this time around, this is it! I am so very excited to be done and so ready to finish all of my other finals and just go home!

    Author Response:

    • So for my final project I chose to do a video essay and I have definitely hit my fair share of cruveballs. I have had trouble with editing it, figuring out how to film, not stuttering and repeating myself. All kinds of issues but I, ultimately, feel fairly confident in that it's done and it seems like a very laid back video essay to peers. 
    • I'd love specific feedback on what I could do to improve the genre conventions.


    Sunday, May 1, 2016

    Peer Review for Emily Bond

    In this post I will be providing a link to the peer review I did for Miss Emily, a student in my section. I chose to review Emily's work because we are both creating video essays in these last 2 weeks and we have both made the decision to film in the coming week so we will both definitely be busy. I resonate with her process and that is why I chose to review her work

    Audience Question:
    How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?
    • I practiced my peer review skills by giving Emily a little bit of advice on how to make her introduction more appealing to listeners/viewers. I really think that The video essay is a fun genre and there is a lot you can do with it if you please and so the intro should be fun! Especially because this is the last project - let loose!
    Author Response:
    • I reviewed Emily's blog post to peer reviewers, her content adaption (Production Report). Emily chose to show her raw content in the form of a script that she will read for her video essay. I think I helped Emily by providing her with ideas on how she could improve her introduction. I told her that she should definitely use her name and really introduce herself as well as the project as the project is about her. I told her that she should tell a personal story or give some kind of insight into her life since the viewer will be learning about her as the video essay goes on. I am doing the same general thing as Emily so my advice comes from personal experience and from the d2l genre examples where the host introduces themselves. 

    Friday, April 29, 2016

    Production Report Numba Two

    In this blog post, much like my last post, I will be sharing part of my content outline and the adaptation of my outline in my raw content. Because I am dedicating this week to raw content stuff and I will be figuring out the technology aspect next week I have decided to share parts of my written script here. I just do not feel confident in this genre and creating parts of the video at this stage honesty stresses me out so I'm not doing it. I feel as though I should be able to have actual video content by Tuesday if next week so I'll be sharing it then!

    Audience Questions
    How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?



    How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?

    •  
    Author Response

    Content Outline Excerpt:
    •  Project 1:
      • Learning a new genre
      • Researching on my own
        • No supervision
      • Developing my voice and figuring out how to adapt that voice to suit the audience
    Raw Content Excerpt:



    •  

    Production Report Numba One

    In this blog post I will be sharing part of my content outline and the adaptation of my outline in my raw content. Because I am dedicating this week to raw content stuff and I will be figuring out the technology aspect next week I have decided to share parts of my written script here. I just do not feel confident in this genre and creating parts of the video at this stage honesty stresses me out so I'm not doing it. I feel as though I should be able to have actual video content by Tuesday if next week so I'll be sharing it then!

    Audience Questions
    How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?



    How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?

    •  
    Author Response

    Content Outline Excerpt:
    •  Intro: 
      • Music - Upbeat (How I feel about this semester ending)
    • Talk about First ever blog post
      • Writing Style
      • How I write
      • What I do
      • What I am used to writing
      • New Genres and my feelings about these genres at the begining of the year
    • What is writing to me
    Raw Content Excerpt:

    Tuesday, April 26, 2016

    Production Schedule

    In this blog post I will be sharing my production schedule. I plan to get the bulk of the rough cut stuff done this week and then I will be editing and really figuring out the software next week. I will be dedicating Wednesday night to this project so I will have no issue get it all done.

    I am quite nervous about creating a video essay in this short period of time but I am quite hopeful!

    My Schedule can be found here

    Monday, April 25, 2016

    Content Outline

    In this post I will be providing a link to my content outline for my final project!!!! I will probably be editing my outline as I really figure out what the heck I am doing but the link is interactive and will always show my most recent form of the outline. I am excited to finish this baby up and finally be done with these darn log posts ;)

    My outline can be found here

    PS: If anyone has any ideas on how to make this more interesting than me just sitting there taking a video of me I would love some feedback :)

    Sunday, April 24, 2016

    Peer Review for Jackson starmer

    In this post I will be reviewing Jackson's Video Essay. Jackson is in the 8am section, not my own class. Because I have never done a Video Essay I will be commenting on the content of his work instead of the form and genre conventions because I really know nothing about a Video essay at this point!

    Audience Question:
    How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

    • I used my editorial skills to advise Jackson on some simple content things. Because I have never made a video essay I feel strange critiquing his form so I instead critiqued his content and gave him pointers on the things I found confusing and offered less confusing and more straight forward alternatives that I believed would make his argument even stronger.

    Author Response:

    • Jackson did not title his work anything related to the content which made me a bit confused right off the bat. He made the intro very interesting and I was very drawn to keep watching and listening but I was not able to really pick up on the argument until the video essay was 2/3 of the way over. I used what I read about public arguments in the Students Guide to advise Jackson to state his argument more explicitly earlier on so that I wouldn't be searching for the argument the entire time. With that being said I really enjoyed watching his video essay and I think it was very well done with a very exciting intro, I just wish the subject of the argument had been clearer earlier.

    You can find my peer review for Jackson Starmer here

    Peer Review for Nicholas Hoover

    In this post I will be providing a peer review for Nicholas Hoover, a student in my section. Nicholas wrote a Standard College Essay and I will be commenting on the genre conventions of his work.


    Audience Question:
    How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

    • I practiced my editorial skills by commenting on the genre conventions of Nick's work. Because I have done a SCE before I feel at liberty to send some pointers his way. I believe that I was able to draw upon my own knowledge as a student in order to help Nick improve his work.


    Author Response:

    • Nicholas wrote his essay on the Shoddy connectivity of the US internet. He titled his piece "The Costs of Shoddy Connectivity: The Terrible State of the US Internet, and How to Fix It". The title is very informational and lets the reader know what the argument is right off the bat, something I enjoy and think is entirely necessary as it is a genre convention. With that being said I think Nicholas missed the mark on a few other genre conventions. He used a lot of specific information and a lot of numbers yet there are no in-text citations and no works cited page. This worries me as those are two of the most important genre conventions and also make the paper legal as opposed to seeming plagiarized, like he stole information without credit. I think I helped Nicholas by giving him some pointers and reminding him of the Genre conventions that can save his grade and keep him from getting in trouble. I used information I know about the genre from my own experience of writing a SCE in order to comment on Nicholas' and I really appreciated the attention to detail that Nicholas brought to his essay. The work was full of specific information but it still felt like an argument not just a paper.


    Reflection on Local Revision Process

    In this blog post I will be reflecting on this project as a whole. I will be answering audience questions and providing honest and detailed responses to the best of my ability. I will be assessing how I believe I did as well as what I think I could have and should have done differently.

    Audience Questions:
    What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

    • I successfully put everything together and rerecorded all of my elements in order to avoid stutters and make everything feel more cohesive. I also figured out how to turn up the microphone volume so its easier to hear! I incorporated all of the advice I was given in peer review as it was all very helpful and I think I came out with a successful product.

    What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

    • I re-wrote a large portion of my argument as I decided to go a slightly different direction. I had been arguing that shelters should just ban drugs but that's not possible by law so I changed my argument to include other alternatives that I think would be better. because of this change I had to research a lot more info and I had to re-write and rerecord almost my entire script.

    How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

    • I'm so very nervous for next week. We have 2 weeks for this next project. How crazy is that?? I'm honestly panicking and just hoping that I survive with all of these projects and tests!

    How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
    • I'm feeling fairly confident about this project but I'm still worried that the argument isn't strong enough. I am confident in my use of genre conventions but I'm nervous about the actual content itself so here's to hoping I did better than I think! 

    Editorial Report Numba Two

    In this post, much like the last post, I will be providing two links: 1 to my edited version of my podcast and 1 to my final version. I will be talking about the changes I made between the two drafts and what the importance of those changes are.

    Audience Questions:
    How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
    • I completely rewrote and rerecorded this section because I did not think it was serving the purpose I needed it to serve. I was concerned that this narrative that was supposed to connect my interest to the issue with the issue itself really just felt out of place with the drug talk so I rewrote it to be less about me and my mom and more about how myself and others are subconsciously aware of the issue. I think the content is easier understood now and fits together better.

    How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
    • The form really didn't change at all I don't think it's 2 seconds shorter but it is still in about the same place in the podcast and is till entirely spoken by me, I think that the form needed to stay as it was as this is the most successful way for me to present this information.
    Author Response:
    • Please look at 1:23-1:59
    • Please look at 1:27-1:53

    Editorial Report Numba One

    In this post I will be providing two links: 1 to my edited version of my podcast and 1 to my final version. I will be talking about the changes I made between the two drafts and what the importance of those changes are.

    Audience Questions:
    How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
    • Here I made the song intro much quieter and made my voice considerably louder so it is easier to listen to and easier to hear what I have to say. I also included  a title for my podcast segment, "What I think About That" in order to inform my listener that I would be voicing my opinions in the segment. I think that even though this is a very simple change it was crucial. My voice is much easier to hear now and the introduction seems more like a true podcast intro. 

    How did the form change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
    •  The for did not change dramatically but the naming of the segment is a genre convention of a podcast so that simple change helped in both the content and form categories. I also think tht quieting the music makes this much more successful as a podcast. 
    Author Response:
    • Please look at 0:00-0:22
    • Please look at 0:00-0:22


    Saturday, April 23, 2016

    Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

    In this blog post I will be asking for final critiques and opinions on my final podcast for project 3. I will also be posting a link for peer reviewers to listen to and comment on my podcast before submission!

    Audience Question: 
    What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?

    • Well I'm pretty much done now! So I'm expecting this next week to be a kinda crazy hectic push as we all try and get everything done to cram this last project into just 2 weeks!

    Author Response:
    Key information about your particular project that you would like anyone who peer reviews your draft to know
    • I am arguing from as an advocate for the homeless population and I am arguing for alternative housing to keep drugs away from shelters and from other people.
    Major issues or weaknesses in the “Fine Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those weaknesses)
    • I feel as though my argument and my own voice isn't very strong, maybe just need some commentary on how to improve or some opnions!
    Major virtues or strengths in the “Fine Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those strengths)

    Included other info but not sure if I made a clear enough counter argument
    •  All of the claims I make are backed up and valiated so I think my argument is very strong from a fact checking point of view

    Sunday, April 17, 2016

    Peer Review for Erin

    In this blog post I will be talking about my peer review for Erin. Erin is a student in he section 6 class and therefore not a student in my section. She created a video essay around the argument of animal rights specifically animals in SeaWorld.

    My Peer Review for Erin can be found here

    Audience Question:

    How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

    • I used my editorial skills to advise Erin of a different way to carry her voice to ideally make her video essay more interesting to watch/listen to, and hopefully make her points seem more convincing,
    Author response:
    • I did a review for Erin's video essay after she posted it for open peer review. Though I have never made a video essay I have made podcast so I feel as though I can honestly critique the audio aspect of her video. I reviewed her final cut and commented on genre conventions. I commented and said that because a video essay is both visual and audible she needed to make sure her audio was as strong as her visual. Right now she has a really solid argument but her voice is so monotone that it's confusing that  she would even want to argue. She seems disengaged and doesn't seem interested in the topic at all. I advised that she change up her tone a wee bit to give her argument more personality and therefore more emotional appeal to the viewer/listener. I did not use the student's guide but instead experience and other genre examples to back up my comments. When I create a video essay starting next week I hope to have visuals that are as strong as Erin's as she made a video that was very interesting to watch. 

    Peer Review For Mike D.

    In this blog post I will be reviewing Mike. Mike is a stdent in my same section who also did a podcast. Mike did his podcast on the Apple v. Gavernment information conflict.

    My Peer review for Mike can be found here

    Audience Question:

    1. How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

    • This week I used my editorial skills to critique Mike on his delivery when recording his podcast.

    Author Response:
    • I did a Peer Review for Mike D. Mike is creating a podcast like myself and is focusing his argument on phone privacy and security issues. I looked at Mike's Open post to peer reviewers and commented on Genre conventions. I advised Mike to go back through his podcast and located the places where he stutters or stumbles over his words. In his 14 minute podcast he has very few slip ups that the ones that he does have make his podcast seem overly scripted and because his intro and story is so smooth it doesn't seem cohesive. I think this advise is helpful because it will help him generate a better, more podcast like segment. I really admired and enjoyed the life and personality he brought to his podcast and I hope I can do the same.

    Open Post to Peer Reviewers

    In this Post I will be providing a link to my revised version of my Podcast. In order to make it accessible I converted it into a movie and posted in on YouTube but when the final cut is turned in it will be done in an audio only format.

    Audience Questions:

    1. What are you anticipating the post-production II process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the post-production I phase?

    • I still have some work to do honestly. I feel like my argument is weak and I still need to edit a few minutes of audio. I know I can have all of that done by Wednesday so I will still have time for additional peer review. Editing any of my audio shouldn't be too much of a hassle because I recorded it all in small chunks and am now acquainted with the software.

    Author Response:

    • Well at this point a major weakness is that it isn't completely finished! But the audio has been recorded and is awaiting editing! I underestimated the learning curve I would have when learning how to edit it audio and it ended up soaking up much of my time in the last few days. However I've got it down now and will have a full project finished by Wednesday at the latest! Despite this major flaw I am very confident in what is already produced. I back up my statements with facts and Homeless people's testimonies and I loaded my argument with emotional appeals. I think it is a strong argument but the audio just needs a little tweaking.

    Editorial Report Numba Two

    In this blog post, much like my last post, I will be providing links to my rough cut and final cut projects to show my progress! I will also be answering audience questions surrounding the differences between the clips.

    Audience Questions:

    1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
    • This I rerecorded to get rid of my stutter and a lot of the static noise that was in the audio clip. I can't remove the background noise but it is more tolerable now that it had been originally. I think, because the background noise is lessened, it is a lot easier to listen to. Previously the car noise had made listening to that part of the podcast almost intolerable but it's much better now. The removal of the stutter also makes listening to this clip much more tolerable.

    2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
    •  The form didn't change a whole lot here is any obvious form. Previously I had recorded the youtube audio with my phone and it honestly sounded awful but recording the youtube video that was on my computer with the recorder on my computer helped remove a lot of the background noise and made this podcast seem more professional and much more composed.

    Author Response:

    Rough Cut:
    Final Product:

    Editorial Report Numba One

    In this blog post I will be providing links to my rough cut and final cut projects to show my progress! I will also be answering audience questions surrounding the differences between the clips.

    Audience Questions:

    1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

    • The wording is just slightly different to give it a more personal feel. Additionally I added a personal story as recommended to provide an emotional appeal to my intro. I also added a music clip at the beginning as it is a genre convention. I incorporated the music with me talking to make it seem more genuine.

    2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
    •  The Music made this seem more like a podcast and less like a miss-match or audio clips. I think it made the genre come through in a more obvious way and I'm quite happy with it from a form standpoint.

    Author Response:

    Rough Cut:
    Final Product:

    Sunday, April 10, 2016

    Peer Review for Benjamen Meyer

    In this blog post,much like my last post, I will be explaining and breaking down the comments I left on Ben's rough cut QRG excerpt.

    1.The name of the title and author for the project you reviewed

    • Benjamen Meyer

    2. A working hyperlink to the project you reviewed


    3. An explanation of the peer review activity you selected for the project you reviewed

    • I reviewed one of the two rough cuts for project 3. I read Ben's outline excerpt and then read a rough cut of his content for his QRG. He had included a section asking for advice on form so I commented on form and genre conventions for a QRG.

    4. An explanation of how you think you helped the author with your feedback (in other words, how did you help them make their work better?)

    • I think I was helpful in giving advice on how to achieve the genre conventions that he felt were lacking. He asked specifically for advice concerning Hyperlinks so that's what I provided him with. I think I helped him establish a sense of what elements still needed to be added in order for him to create a successful QRG

    5. An explanation of how you incorporated something from the suggested Student’s Guide readings (or any other course materials, if you’d prefer) into your feedback
    • I incorporated advice from the genre conventions page on d2l as well as the things we've talked about in class. During project 2 we talked about the genre conventions at length and we talked about QRG's quite a bit in my group for project one. I also drew upon knowledge I already have from doing a QRG myself.

    6. One thing about their work that you admired or think you could learn from

    • His QRG, though not really a QRG right now, is written in short informational bursts like it needs to be! He was very successful in getting his point across in just a few words and that is exactly whata QRG needs to be.

    Peer Review for Jack Auslin

    In this blog post,much like my last post, I will be explaining and breaking down the comments I left on Jack's rough cut Standard College Essay excerpt.

    1.The name of the title and author for the project you reviewed

    • Jack Auslin

    2. A working hyperlink to the project you reviewed


    3. An explanation of the peer review activity you selected for the project you reviewed

    • I reviewed one of the two rough cuts for project 3. I read Jack's outline excerpt and then read a rough cut of his content for his QRG. I chose to comment on content as I have just finished a Standard College Essay so I felt ass though I could be heplful

    4. An explanation of how you think you helped the author with your feedback (in other words, how did you help them make their work better?)

    • Jack has a really strong argument but it borders, for me, on being to casual for the genre conventions of a SCE. I know that in this class we have been advised to keep things interesting and noot feel confined by the rules we've been taught in other classes but I also know that an essay is a formal peice of writing. Essays are not to be written like letters. So I gave him advice on sticking to the genre conventions of the genre he chose to work in, I believe that Jack is on the right track but I wanted to help him a little bit on the more technical stuff

    5. An explanation of how you incorporated something from the suggested Student’s Guide readings (or any other course materials, if you’d prefer) into your feedback

    • I encorporated advice from the genre conventions page on d2l as well as the things we've talked about in class. During project 2 we talked about the genre conventions of a SCE at length so I encorportated elements of that class conversation into my comments.

    6. One thing about their work that you admired or think you could learn from


      • Jack did a really great job of arguing his subject in a convincing way as well as introducing it in a way that was enticing and interesting for the reader. I really enjoyed reading this small part of his essay and I usually hate essays. It was very well done!

      Reflection on Production

      In this post I will be talking about how my production week has gone and how I feel  preformed. I will be answering audience questions honestly about how I think I preformed and what went well as well as what I needed to improve on. I think this week went well overall and I am excited to learn how to edit everything (and clean up the audio on the JT interview)

      Audience Questions

      1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

      • I had no trouble writing my script. I wrote it and actually enjoyed it because I got to argue and rebuttal! I am really happy, overall with the way my argument has come together and I think it really achieved the purpose I was trying to achieve. I also was very successful with sticking to my production schedule.

      2.What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

      • Figuring out how to work in the audio medium. I've never had to do something like this before and so  figuring out how to record audio and get it onto my computer has been a challenge. I've also had trouble with cutting audio from other sources without it sounding muffled and terrible.

      3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

      • I think next week will be the week with the largest learning curve as I'll be trying to put all of my audio clips together and trying to edit them (so far haven't been able to figure out how to do that so we shall see). I think I'm on track for next week to go quite well but I am worried about getting everything done in a timely manner so I can edit everything in time for peer commentary.

      4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
      • I'm feeling very hopeful and quite confident! I'm definitely worried about editing and I need to figure out if posting it to YouTube is even a valid way to do a podcast (cause as a genre convention, you don't really find podcasts on youtube) but I think I'll be able to figure it all out so I'm feeling hopeful in that regard and confident in my content. 

      Production Report Numba Two

      In this post, just like my last post, I will be reporting on the content I have created and I will be showing the rough cut content I have that coincides with my Outline. I will be covering a bit about my production process and showing some of the progress I've made so far.

      Audience Questions:

      1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

      • I chose to do a podcast so my raw material is a short excerpt of the audio recording from my podcast. I have yet to really figure out the recording and editing software so this is just a small, unedited, cut. Here I give a really quick description of what you're about to hear as its an audio clip from an interview of an LA Homeless 23 year year old on the subject of Drugs in shelters.


      2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?


      • The hiccups of this excerpt mainly centered around me either figuring out how to get this clip of audio without it sounding muffled and terrible, it took a while but I think I figured it out.


      Author Response:

      Outline Item:

      Direct Homeless Interview:
        • JT - LA homeless man
          • Drugs in homeless shelters
        • Give Background on JT
          • Age
          • Why is he homeless
          • Where is he from
          • How is he handling his life so far
      Adaptation of Outline Item:


      Production Report Numba One

      In this post I will be reporting on the content I have created and I will be showing the rough cut content I have that coincides with my Outline. I will be covering a bit about my production process and showing some of the progress I've made so far.

      Audience Questions:

      1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

      • I chose to do a podcast so my raw material is a short excerpt of the audio recording from my podcast. I have yet to really figure out the recording and editing software so this is just a small, unedited, cut. I tried to make the audio seem conversational and friendly while still maintaining a voice of authority. Because the assignments is an argument I think it is important to sound like a peer while still sounding confident and commanding.

      2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?


      • The hiccups of this excerpt mainly centered around me either stuttering or reading a word wrong when trying to record myself reading my script. I had to record it like 13 times and there are still some awkward lulls where I didn't say the word fast enough or said it wrong entirely. I definitely realized that this assignment will be easiest if I record things in small chucks and then put them together at the end.

      Author Response:

      Outline Item

      Topic Introduction:
      • Talk about panhandlers on the street
        • Relate homelessness to real life
          • Statistics concerning Homeless rates in the US
            • Drug Use Stats
          • Stats concerning drug use in the Homeless Community
            • Tie into Personal experience with my momma
              • Personal Connection

      Adaptation of Outline Item

      Tuesday, April 5, 2016

      Peer Review for Fernando

      In this Blog post I will be giving a quick description of the comments I gave Fernando on his Rhetorical Analysis of project 3. He is dealing with feminist issues which are dear to my heart so I think I was the right person to try and lend a helping hand.

      My comments can be found here.

      Fernando is a student who is not in my section but he is also creating a podcast so I was interested to see how this would change his audience and overall analysis if it changed it at all. Fernando, or Fern a nickname that his blog suggests, is creating his argument based on issues with gender in the gaming community. I did my project one on issues of equality on a larger scale so I was sympathetic to the bias issues Fern was facing. In the Author section of his post he states that he may have a bit of an anti-feminist bias but that he plans on ignoring this bias and trying to put it behind him. I advised against this. I think that, in this situation, he should embrace his bias and speak freely and truthfully about his opinions on the topic but maybe state his bias directly so that the audience knows where the argument is coming from. This advice comes from my knowledge of arguing. If you try to argue but you hold back on what you're really thinking your argument will always seem incomplete. I also advised that he utilize his sister who he thinks would have a vested interest in the matter in order to get a female opinion that could either validate or negate his anti-feminist views. I think this advice is helpful in creating a more true and complete argument that  will be more convincing for the audience.

      Peer Review for Jacob

      In this blog post I will be covering the peer review I did for a fellow classmate, Jacob. I commented on his Rhetorical Situation Analysis and gave him feed back on who is Audience should most likely be as I believe this was the most vague portion of his post.

      My review can be found here.

      I peer reviewed Jacob's Rhetorical Analysis blog post, Jacob is a member of my section and is doing his project 3 assignment on the most recent Star wars movie. I have never seen the movie, I'm more of a Harry Potter fan than a Star Wars fan, so I cannot help when it comes to content but I tried to provide some insight on the actual Rhetoric of the situation. I commented on Jacob's obvious passion around the topic as I believe that passion is important here. How can you argue if you don't really care? but I critiqued his vision of the audience. Because I know nothing about the topic I was very confused and lost when reading his analysis. The topic is not something I know about at all and therefore I would not be the ideal audience. Jacob says that the ideal audience is comprised of "star wars as" but I critiqued that that may be to broad of an audience to write for. Self proclaimed fans may just enjoy the movies and not think any deeper about the issues of film similarities. I think The audience needs to be educated movie goers who have seen, and remember, all of the movies that Jacob is referencing. I used the info we have talked about in class to back up my comments as we have talked about the audience and the necessary specificity  of this analysis at length in class. Jacob's analysis, otherwise, was VERY thorough which I really admire, he obviously did research prior to analyzing his rhetorical situation and I think that was the right move and something I wish I had done as well.

      Reflection on Pre-Production

      In this blog post I will be reflecting on how my pre-production week went, how I'm feeling about the project overall, and how I am feeling as we begin the production week. I am feeling a bit stressed as these last few blog posts are late (didn't scroll to see the next page) but I know I can make up the ime by staying focused, no worries!

      Audience Questions:

      1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

      It took me awhile to find a topic that I was interested in arguing but after I came up with it I had no problem finding an argument and a place to stand. I was successful in researching and finding sources to support both my argument and counter arguments and I believe that I have the makings of a strong argument.

      2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

      Haha ugh.

      Well, my first challenge was my computer shutting of prior to me saving my 10 sources. I had no issue justifying my sources the second time since I had already done it but I had a hell of a time finding my sources again!! Probably added an extra 2-3 hours to my pre-production time.

      My Second challenge was my own stupidity. I didn't scroll down on the google doc and I only thought we had 3 blog posts. Jokes on me!!!! We had 7, so I'm playing catch up a little.

      3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?


      I'm confident! I'm writing this post on day 2 of production week and I have almost my whole script finished! It needs some polishing but I am feeling really good about my argument and about production overall. I haven't done much/anything with editing audio so I'm nervous about that but I think I'll be okay.

      4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

      I'm feeling good! Really good about content and a little nervous about Genre conventions but I know I'll figure it out! I'm excited about this because I love a good, educated, civil argument anyways and now I get to give one without anyone firing back! 

      Production Schedule

      In this post I will be providing a link to a Google Doc which includes my production schedule. I am a bit behind because I am just now making this schedule (on April 5th) because I was too dumb to scroll down on the assignment page and see that we had more than 3 blog posts. So here its is, late but finished and I'm ready to hit the ground running!!

      You can find my Production Schedule Here

      Sunday, April 3, 2016

      Content Outline

      In this post I will be providing a link to my outline for project 3. This outline is a work in progress and I will be changing it to adapt to what I really want to do throughout this next week of production. I will be doing my bets to conform to the genre conventions of a podcast and I will be trying to make my argument convincing. I still have a few counter arguments I want to look at to complete my outline and I will be referencing other audio sources to possibly use but definitely draw from.

      You can find my Outline Here

      Research Report

      JUST A HEADS UP: My lovely computer thought that restarting randomly as I finished this blog post prior to saving it would be a great idea so I'm having to find and re-analyze my sources!! So if you're looking at this and they're not all here I'm very sorry! I'm working on finding them all over again :,(

      In this post I will by analyzing my sources and providing info the justify them as being credible. I will be analyzing 10 sources, some of which are print and some audio to gain some usable material for my podcast.

      Audience Questions:

      How is the research process going? Have you found a wide variety of sources?

      • So far so good! At this point I still need to find sources for the counter argument as they do not seem nearly as strong as the arguments that back up my side. Because this is a very public issue that spans the entire country there is a lot to be read and found on the subject. I have been able to find both visual/audio sources and text sources with ease.

      Author Response:

      • Title, author & host of source: Can Shelters Require You to Take a Drug Test?, Authors unknown, Homeless Law Blog, Word Press
      • The source’s author(s): Author's are anonymous but use specific law information as well as hyperlinks to the specific clauses in official Judicial paperwork. Though there is no clear author which makes this post seem unreliable the information in the post is very well written and justified.
      • The target audience for the source: Seems to be homeless people as the title says "you". The posts seems to be written in order to help homeless people however an online article may be difficult for a homeless person to access which makes me think that the article may be written, using common law knowledge, for lawyers and attorney's or family members of homeless persons.
      • The source’s main purpose or message: Explains why drug testing for homeless shelters, even if they are privately owned, is illegal. Justifies all information with legal documentation and explains why all shelters legally cannot drug test (without warrants for each individual)
      • This source is reliable because:
        • Gives insightful information about a legal topics through the use of dirrect legal info
        • Provides justification for all statements made with hyperlinks to official government sources
      • Title, author & host of source: More than 500,000 people homeless in the United States: report, Eric M. Johnson, Reuters
      • The source’s author(s): 1. Graduated from Albion College with Degrees in English and Economics, 2. Has been working as a Chicago based journalist writing about U.S. news and politics for 2.5 years (democratic affiliations)
      • The target audience for the source: QRG type article, written for busy american's, seems to be written simply, not a difficult read = written for any socioeconomic/educated class
      • The source’s main purpose or message: Describing where the reported half million homeless american's are. Which states/cities have the highest homeless populations and why the number is slightly down from the previous year.
      • This source is reliable because:
        • Written by reliable author who has been covering economic issues for some years and has proven to be credible
        • Hyperlinks reliable sources when using/mentioning exact info.
      • Title, author & host of source: The State of Homelessness in America 2015, National Alliance to End Homelessness
      • The source’s author(s): no author's directly named however the page, NAEH is a national organization that is recognized by the US government.The website is a .org, not a .com, and is easily found to be credible as it meets the US regulations for internet domains.  
      • The target audience for the source: Educated Americans. The page uses complex and intelligent english and is not written in a way that would be easy to understand. There are graphics to make the content more understandable but still seems to be written for the educated pupil.
      • The source’s main purpose or message: The National Alliance to End Homelessness is obviously about ending homelessness. However, this specific post is about the state of homelessness in the US is 2015 and is a break down of the change in the homeless population from state to state.
      • This source is reliable because:
        • It is a government recognized cite that was created to inform the public on accurate information. Is not made by any special interest group related to the government.
        • Written by an entity that was specifically created to help and report on homelessness, very seasoned and credited.
      • Title, author & host of source: Homeless by choice: bedbugs, drugs in low barrier shelter keep people out, Kent Molgat, CTV
      • The source’s author(s): 1. Kent Molgat has worked as a journalist covering inner city crime and drug usage for more that 10 years, 2. The Journalist is the Bureau Chief at CTV
      • The target audience for the source: Anyone who watches in 8pm news (in Vancouver). The audience doesn't work for my podcast but it does work in trying to figure out what I need to be arguing
      • The source’s main purpose or message: Homeless shelters are keeping people on the streets instead of bringing them in. Woman testifies that she didn't start doing drugs until she started to live around other who did.
      • This source is reliable because:
        • Speaks to real life homeless people, 3 of them, all 3 have similar stories from different angles
        • The journalist recording these stories seems credible and knowledgeable in the field in which he is discussing in this news segment. 
      • Title, author & host of source: 23yr old homeless man, Danielle Gold, CaliFaces
      • The source’s author(s): 1. Founder of CaliFaces, a video diary 
      • The target audience for the source: This seems to have a very broad audience when it's being watched but it is 4 years old and not publicized, it wasn't the first video to show up when I searched but it has over a million views so I believe that the audience for this is anyone who is interesting in homelessness in the US as a general area. The man interviewed is from California but talks about homelessness in other places in the US
      • The source’s main purpose or message: It's hard to be homeless. Talks about every aspect, can't go to a shelter because there are more issues in shelter's then there are on the streets
      • This source is reliable because:
        • The one who does the most talking is a homeless man who has been homeless for 5 years
        • The man is educated holding a college degree in English Lit and is drug free (says so and does not act in any odd fashion)
      • Title, author & host of source: Substance Abuse and Homelessness, National Coalition for the Homeless, Bringing America Home
      • The source’s author(s): there is no specific author named but the group, the National Coalition for the Homeless is a government organization created as an outlet for people to see what efforts are being made/need to be made in the homeless community. They are specifically interested in Homelessness.
      • The target audience for the source: Interested American Citizens. The source creates one piece monthly so the information is meant to be read and built on. Unlike many other source who create 146985145347234 issues in a day this source writes just one article a month. The articles are backed up by a works cited with multiple resource to verify information. The audience is to be educated to appreciate and realize the next step.
      • The source’s main purpose or message: To inform the US public on the substance abuse issues that the homeless population faces. The source also correlates drug use as a CAUSE of homelessness, not just a result.
      • This source is reliable because:
        • Government funded website that is created to inform educated citizens about issues related to or directly about homelessness
        • Well cited information, written to inform and backed up by other reliable sources
      • Title, author & host of source: People Experiencing Chronic Homelessness, United States Interagency Council on Homelessness, US Government
      • The source’s author(s): The US Interagency Council is a government entity created to provide info for the US public on what issues they see and how they plan to correct them
      • The target audience for the source: The US Public, possibly homeless people interested in what the Government is doing to help them
      • The source’s main purpose or message: Rough overview of the governments plan to lower the homeless rate by providing permanent housing, does not offer much info but does explain the rough details
      • This source is reliable because:
        • Government page (.gov) cannot be edited or created by anyone outside of the elected government or appointed Gov workers
        • Provides Hyperlinks to other useful Gov articles that provide supporting info for the proposed solution
      Another link from same source on supportive housing (more in depth)

      • Title, author & host of source: Homeless Shelter Opts To Close Instead Of Accepting People On Drugs, Alcohol, Bill Chappell, NPR
      • The source’s author(s): 1. Chappell lives in Colorado and works as a journalist for NPR working as a print Journalist reporting on social issues through writing. 2. He is also an engineer,inventor, and entrepreneur who creates gadgets and toys. 
      • The target audience for the source: Educated american citizens. NPR is known for being relatively unbiased and truth telling and often aim to speak to the older generations,
      • The source’s main purpose or message: Describing why a US homeless shelter is closing due to overuse of drugs and the inability to eliminate them.
      • This source is reliable because:
        • NPR is well known for unbiased retelling of social and local news stories, this is no different. 
        • Hyperlinks are provided to show further information and validate facts.
      • Title, author & host of source: Homeless Man Encourages Others On The Streets To 'Get Up', Pam Fessler, NPR
      • The source’s author(s): 1. A Washington, DC journalist and photographer. She works for NPR as a reporter on social issues. 2. Covers issues of poverty, homelessness, hunger, and the less fortunate.
      • The target audience for the source: Educated american citizens. NPR is known for being relatively unbiased and truth telling and often aim to speak to the older generations
      • The source’s main purpose or message: Describing why a US homeless shelter is closing due to overuse of drugs and the inability to eliminate them.
      • This source is reliable because:
        • NPR is well known for unbiased retelling of social and local news stories, this is no different. 
        • Hyperlinks are provided to show further information and validate facts.
      10.
      • Title, author & host of source:
      • The source’s author(s):
      • The target audience for the source:
      • The source’s main purpose or message:
      • This source is reliable because:
        • h

      Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3

      In this blog post I will be focusing on the rhetorical situation for project 3. I will be discussing my topic in depth and analyzing the rhetorical situation and context that I will need to understand in order to begin producing my project.

      Author:

      1. How will you draw on any or some of the following for Project 3? Be specific about how your plans for Project 3 connect to some previous, current or burgeoning interest of your own

        • your own general research interests

      • I have always been interested in the issue of homelessness. I grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico, a city that has one of the largest homeless populations in the U.S. Growing up in an environment where this epidemic is so prevalent has made me very sensitive to the opinions of others on the topic.

        • other subjects of interest you have encountered here or elsewhere in your recent studies.

      • I, personally, have never felt real oppression or dealt with not having a roof over my head but in my academic studies, as I learn more about the world, I have become increasingly interested in issues of equality and equal opportunity. I want to do my project on the Homeless community and base my argument on the opportunities that the homeless population is not able to have.

        • current-day social, cultural or political issues that you follow and are interested in.

      • I've argued with people about this before actually, I believe that it is a prevalent argument in real life as when driving around it's hard not to see a homeless person.

             2.     What are the preconceptions, previously held opinions and/or potential areas for
                     personal bias that you should be aware of for Project 3? What about any of the
                     following?:
      Your family of origin, and the spoken or unspoken set(s) of “family values” that come with belonging to that family.

      • Treat others as you want to be treated. The golden rule (no direct bias)

      The social class of yourself/your family (consider honestly your family’s level of access to wealth, real estate, travel, leisure, luxury items, etc.).

        • Upper Middle Class, no personal relationship to homelessness (no direct bias)

        The location/geography where you were raised, and whatever local norms, customs, attitudes, traditions, and/or prejudices come with belonging or not belonging.

        • Albuquerque, NM top 100 Homeless cities (influence but not bias)

        Audience:

        How are you thinking about your audience for this project? Who are you going to make this for? 
        • My audience for this will be non-homeless adults. I believe my audience will be Americans, as I plan to write about homelessness in the US, who have an interest in the idea. I want my argument to be informational and swaying and I want it to be created for people who have enough knowledge both from my project and from their own lives, to think critically.
        What beliefs and assumptions might this audience already hold? What position are they likely to take on this issue? How will you respond to that position?
        • I chose this topic because in the past I've had arguments with people about this issue so I know that the majority of people believe that homelessness is a choice that people make. A choice to not go to school, to quit their job, to be overzealous with their money, whatever it may be people think homeless people are lazy and pathetic.
        How might they react to your argument?
        • My Argument may be shocking and I knew people will disagree but I think it will be influential and, at the least, educational.
        How are you going to relate to or connect with your audience? Are there any specific words, ideas or ways of arguing that will help you relate to them in this way?
        • Relating it to real life. Seeing panhandlers on the street, real life experience.
        Think of one specific person or a set of people you know personally or professionally who fall within the definition of ‘target audience’ you’re using for Project 3. What could you tell them or say to them in order to convince them of your perspective? What would need to happen for them to agree with you?
        • My mom. She has always been interested in the homeless epidemic in NM. She is educated and informed and in order to get through to my mother she needs facts. She does not just believe what she is told, she's too smart for that. I need evidence or statistics in order to convince my momma.
        Purpose/Message:

        What do you want to accomplish with Project 3? What affect do you want it to have on your intended audience?

        • I want to change peoples minds about drug use in the homeless community. I want to create an argument that is persuasive and effective and will, at the least, make people rethink their previous beliefs.
        Once you’ve done all your research and figured out what you think about the controversy you’ve chosen, what still needs to be accomplished?
        • Production and figuring out how to edit/shoot/create video footage. I need to talk to classmates about how they are or have created video essays and what the used to make it.
        Context: 

        What are the particular circumstances surrounding this assignment? 
        • I'm not entirely sure what this means but I will be focusing on homelessness in the US as a whole. I think I will include information about the most impoverished states as well. The who will be homeless people, both addicts and non-addicts. I will also be using a conversation I had with a homeless man last year as evidence. I will be needing to draw on a lot of footage that others have shot for my video essay as having me spew an argument is not interesting.
        Genre:

        What course genre will you be writing in for Project 3?
        • Podcast
        What kinds of audience expectations come along with this genre, generally?
        • The audience is generally young and tech savvy to a degree. Often on the go/busy. Like to multitask while getting their news and choose to listen instead of read in order to gain info quickly.
        What is your history working in the genre you have selected for Project 3?
        • No history at all... I'm actually VERY nervous about this genre
        Describe your comfort level and general feelings about the genre. How will they affect your work on Project 3?
        • I amVERY uncomfortable with the genre but it may be good because I know how much time I need to poor into this now and I will be giving it a lot of attention.
        What are the two most effective conventions in this genre, in your opinion? Why? Be specific


        1. The ability to show inflection through the human voice, very important when arguing. Inflection can make the passion and anger and feelings of an argument very obvious and very real for the listener. 
        2. The ability to incorporate music to affect the mood. When arguing you do not want your mood to be misconstrued and using music is a very effective way to pull at the heart strings without seeming bitchy or over-the-top.
        When:

        Are there any historical events that might impact how your audience perceives your argument or the kind of background information or evidence you need to include? For instance, does media reporting on any of the following involve your issue/subject for Project 3?
        • I have read a few articles lately about rising homeless populations but, at this point, I don't think there are any real historical events that I will need to pull from.
        What are the three or four major counter-arguments you’ll have to respond to, based upon what people are saying in the press/media? Be specific and cite your sources using working hyperlinks.


        1. One counter argument to my stand is that drug use in the homeless community is not a big deal or an issue that needs to be addressed, after all they're poor and wouldn't spend all of their money on drugs, right? http://cjonline.com/news/2016-04-02/sex-hope-and-prosecution-agencies-fight-sex-trafficking-shawnee-county
        2. They choose to continue doing drugs, after being on the street they don't have to keep doing them. People treat homeless people as less than human. They seem to forget their compassion and instead look down on the homeless community as a plague. People forget that addiction, as it happens to people in any socioeconomic tier, is hard and cannot just simply be fixed. http://alcohol.addictionblog.org/drug-and-alcohol-abuse-and-the-homeless/
        3. Homeless shelters are a place of refuge, a home. This is not true. Many homeless american's sleep on the street to avoid drug culture in the shelters. http://www.businessinsider.com/sleepingin-a-homeless-shelter-2012-1


        Sunday, March 27, 2016

        Peer Review for Marvin Chaires

        In this blog post I will be commenting on my peer review for Marvin Chaires. Marvin is not in my English section but instead is in the 8am section. I chose to comment on Marvin's post because he did a QRG and after project one I feel very confident in QRG's and I think I can help out at least a little in the genre convention department.

        Chemical Writing in Some of Its Shapes and Sizes by Marvin Chaires

        Marvin's QRG can be found here
        My Comments can be found here

        I selected Activity 2 as I think Marvin s on the right track in terms of genre conventions but definitely has some changes and additions to be made!

        I think I helped Marvin in breaking down the genre conventions of a QRG. I thought the hardest part of making a QRG was including/remembering all of the conventions and I think stating them individually was probably helpful.

        I incorporated the genre conventions that are apparent in the genre examples on d2l. After doing a QRG for our lst project I remeber having to figure out subheading, photos, hyperlinking, sidebars, and white space so I referenced that information.

        His content, for being a rough draft, was spot on. He included all of the necessary information and I admire that as content is often the hardest thing for me to do. I learned that maybe if I focus more on the content and then on the conventions I might feel more confident in my project at the end.

        Peer Review for Alec Eulano

        In this post I will be covering my peer review of Alec, he was a member of my group for this project and also wrote an Essay.

        An Investigation of the Specificity in Political Science Genres by Alec Eulano

        Alec's rough cut can be found here
        My review comment can be found here

        I selected activity 2 and critiqued the genre conventions that Alec used in order to convey/create a Standard college essay. I chose to do this because I felt as though his content was strong but some of the genre conventions were missing.

        I think I helped Alec in refining the genre conventions that are so easy to overlook. When we have so much going on as both English students and students in general is easy to overlook the conventions of an essay since we've all been writing them for so long.

        I incorporated the genre conventions that are not only provided through examples on d2l but also were talked about in class on Friday. I referenced the genre examples when doing my own project so I just had to refer back to them when writing my comment for Alec.

        I admired his use of a quote for the intro. I found it to be catching and i made me want to read more, like why is this quote here? What is the significance? I found that to be gutsy and smart.

        Reflection

        In this post I will be talking about how this entire project went and I will be assessing my own performance and time management skills. This project, in my opinion, was much more difficult than the last one and I hit way more problems during this process than last and I will be covering those issues in this post.

        Audience Questions:
        1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

        Receiving the rubric in class was very helpful for me. After looking over the rubric on Thursday I honestly knew that I was in trouble and would need to commit quite a bit of time to fixing my essay. However, as frustrating as that was, I was very grateful to have seen the rubric in time to make the necessary changes and I believe that that was something that went well during this last week.

        2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

        This is on me but I edited my essay in the word document on my computer instead of the google doc I had posted to my blog so all of the peer review feedback I received was on the draft that I already knew was bad. Additionally, realizing that my essay was worse than I already thought on Thursday was hard because I already had meetings and philanthropy events planned for the weekend so I had to find more time than I had expected in order to finish this project on time. I wish we had received the grading rubric sooner.

        3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

        Well, next week is a new project so I'm very hopeful going into this next week that it will be smoother sailing than this past week was. I am committed to managing my time better for this next project so this same thing doesn't happen to me again.

        4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

        I'm honestly not sure. Part of my insecurities around this project are about me just not really being a confident writer to begin with but I'm considerably more worried about this project than I was the last. I knew my QRG was good for project one but at this point I don't know where I stand and I'm very nervous to see how this project works out for me in the end (Grade wise).

        Editorial Report Numba Two

        In this post, much like me previous post, I will be comparing a section of my rough cut draft and a section of my completed/edited draft. I've hit a lot of speed bumps in this project so my rough cut almost doesn't represent my final copy at all (which is good 'cause my rough cut was not good enough)! I hope that the work I've committed to this projects is conveyed through these posts.

        Author Response:

        Rough Cut Excerpt:

        Another writing form that is used by studio artists is journaling. Journaling, unlike most other genres is not something that is made for public consumption. Much like diary entries journaling allows for artists to get their thoughts and ideas out on paper so they may be able to develop their thoughts into more interesting and complete ideas or even just remember what they were thinking the day before. Krause says that she journals just for herself. She writes notes, memos, and stories that keep her engaged and thinking about her topic. Krause writes in her sketchbook and does not post the sketchbook pages online, they are just for her. Famous artists from the past have also been known to journal. Van Gogh, a very famous French impressionist painter from the late 18oo’s, is now famous for his journal entries. Upon his death in 1890 the artists family and friends claimed his belongings including his journals, since then museums and galleries have coveted the writings as they give a glimpse into the way his mind works. The artist wrote notes to himself when starting new pieces, wrote poems of inspiration, sketched smaller versions of his large paintings and denoted his actions and thoughts as he painted. This form of writing, according to Ms. Krause, is “the most important form of writing an artist can discover”. Ms. Krause also said that “journaling allows me to calm my mind and collect my thoughts, without writing things down I would be lost and I wouldn’t be able to complete my works”. Journaling is a writing form that the public cannot see but we can still appreciate the purpose and intention that journaling evokes.

        Edited Excerpt:

        Another writing form that is used by studio artists is journaling. Journaling, unlike the previous genres is not made for public consumption. Much like diary entries journaling allows for artists to get their thoughts and ideas out on paper so they may be able to develop their thoughts into more interesting and complete ideas. Janelle Krause, a studio artist, says that she journals just for herself. She writes notes, memos, and stories that keep her engaged and thinking about her topic. Krause writes in her sketchbook and does not post the sketchbook pages online, they are, as she said in an interview, just for her (Krause, Personal Interview). Famous artists from the past have also been known to journal. Van Gogh, a very famous French impressionist painter from the late 18oo’s, is now famous for his journal entries. Upon his death in 1890 the artist’s family claimed his belongings including his journals and since that time museums and galleries have coveted the writings as they give a glimpse into the life of the artist (“Vincent Van Gogh Gallery”. Van Gogh wrote notes to himself when starting new pieces, wrote poems of inspiration, sketched smaller versions of his large paintings and denoted his actions and thoughts as he painted (“Publication History”). This genre, because it is not written for the public contains no appeals of credibility or logic but does appeal to emotion. Van Gogh wrote poems, songs, and notes to accompany his many sketches in his journal and every entry was dedicated to a different person much like a letter. Van Gogh’s most famous entry is dedicated to his long-time girlfriend. The entry is a love poem accompanied by a small painting of himself. The poem is inherently emotional as it is dedicated to the love of his life and appeals to the emotions of the reader as they are able to feel the intimacy of the couple’s love third hand. The genre of journaling, though abstract and hard to interpret, is the most intimate form of writing in the art field and appeals to human emotion in a way that no other genre can.

        Audience Questions:

        1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

        Here the differences are slightly less obvious. The content is different because it explicitly states the rhetorical device that is used, pathos. This is basically the assignment, literally to talk about the rhetorical device and I didn't have it anywhere. Can you believe that? Additionally, I use more direct and pertinent information concerning Van Gogh's journal entries and I aimed to be less repetitive with pronouns.

        2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

        Same as the last post really, this paragraph has the in-text citations that are needed in a Standard College Essay. I also aimed to keep my sentence structure more varied to keep the essay from sounding super boring.