THE LAST BLOG POST OF THE SEMESTER AKA Peer Review for Sarah Moskowitz

In this blog post I will be peer editing a final draft for a student that is not in my section! I am very excited to do this blog post because after this I am done!!!!!!!!!!! So lets get to it

Audience Question:
How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

• I practiced my editorial skills by reading Sarah's final draft and commenting on the genre conventions that her SCE fulfilled.

Author Response:

• Sarah did a really great job of staying formal while talking about herself. A SCE is often quite formal by nature and Sarah did a great job or respecting that while still fulfilling what was needed form a content standpoint. I commented mainly on the Genre conventions of a SCE because I have completed that genre and have looked at many examples throughout the year. I think I helped Sarah in confirming that she should feel confident in what she created, her essay is strong, well written, and  meets all of the conventions of an essay.

My Peer review for Sarah can be found here

Editorial Report Numba Two

In this blog post I will be providing comparisons between my raw content and my final project. My raw content is in written, script form and my final project is a video essay.

Audience Questions:
How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• The content changed a lot. When I was making the script I thought that I would be able to read the script as I was filming but I was very wrong and so the video itself sounds almost nothing like the script I had initially intended on reading.

How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

• Written to recorded. The written was just the basis for the final project. So the form is very VERY different here.

Author Response:

Rough Cut

•  Hi Im Julia Davenport and welcome to my second segment of what I think about that. In this segment I will be reflecting on my year as an englih student and I will be talking about the projects and genres individually, 

Final Cut

• https://youtu.be/C8VfJQRCf64 please look at times 32.00-54.00

Editorial Report Numba One

In this blog post I will be providing comparisons between my raw content and my final project. My raw content is in written, script form and my final project is a video essay.

Audience Questions:
How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• The content changed a lot. When I was making the script I thought that I would be able to read the script as I was filming but I was very wrong and so the video itself sounds almost nothing like the script I had initially intended on reading.

How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

• Written to recorded. The written was just the basis for the final project. So the form is very VERY different here.

Author Response:

Rough Cut

•  Introduction with graphic
• Title Page
• Music
• Topic
• Name

Final Cut

• https://youtu.be/C8VfJQRCf64 please look at times: 0.00-32.00

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

In this blog post I will be providing a link to my final project as well as talking about what I'd like commentary and help on before turning this bad boy in a few hours!

My Video Essay Can be found Here

Audience Question:
What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?

• Well there is no post production this time around, this is it! I am so very excited to be done and so ready to finish all of my other finals and just go home!

Author Response:

• So for my final project I chose to do a video essay and I have definitely hit my fair share of cruveballs. I have had trouble with editing it, figuring out how to film, not stuttering and repeating myself. All kinds of issues but I, ultimately, feel fairly confident in that it's done and it seems like a very laid back video essay to peers. 
• I'd love specific feedback on what I could do to improve the genre conventions.

Peer Review for Emily Bond

In this post I will be providing a link to the peer review I did for Miss Emily, a student in my section. I chose to review Emily's work because we are both creating video essays in these last 2 weeks and we have both made the decision to film in the coming week so we will both definitely be busy. I resonate with her process and that is why I chose to review her work

Audience Question:
How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

• I practiced my peer review skills by giving Emily a little bit of advice on how to make her introduction more appealing to listeners/viewers. I really think that The video essay is a fun genre and there is a lot you can do with it if you please and so the intro should be fun! Especially because this is the last project - let loose!

Author Response:

• I reviewed Emily's blog post to peer reviewers, her content adaption (Production Report). Emily chose to show her raw content in the form of a script that she will read for her video essay. I think I helped Emily by providing her with ideas on how she could improve her introduction. I told her that she should definitely use her name and really introduce herself as well as the project as the project is about her. I told her that she should tell a personal story or give some kind of insight into her life since the viewer will be learning about her as the video essay goes on. I am doing the same general thing as Emily so my advice comes from personal experience and from the d2l genre examples where the host introduces themselves. 

• My peer review for Emily can be found here

Production Report Numba Two

In this blog post, much like my last post, I will be sharing part of my content outline and the adaptation of my outline in my raw content. Because I am dedicating this week to raw content stuff and I will be figuring out the technology aspect next week I have decided to share parts of my written script here. I just do not feel confident in this genre and creating parts of the video at this stage honesty stresses me out so I'm not doing it. I feel as though I should be able to have actual video content by Tuesday if next week so I'll be sharing it then!

Audience Questions
How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

• 
  

How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?

•  

Author Response

Content Outline Excerpt:

•  Project 1:
• Learning a new genre
• Researching on my own
• No supervision
• Developing my voice and figuring out how to adapt that voice to suit the audience

Raw Content Excerpt:

•  

Production Report Numba One

In this blog post I will be sharing part of my content outline and the adaptation of my outline in my raw content. Because I am dedicating this week to raw content stuff and I will be figuring out the technology aspect next week I have decided to share parts of my written script here. I just do not feel confident in this genre and creating parts of the video at this stage honesty stresses me out so I'm not doing it. I feel as though I should be able to have actual video content by Tuesday if next week so I'll be sharing it then!

Audience Questions
How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

• 
  

How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?

•  

Author Response

Content Outline Excerpt:

•  Intro: 
• Music - Upbeat (How I feel about this semester ending)
• Talk about First ever blog post
• Writing Style
• How I write
• What I do
• What I am used to writing
• New Genres and my feelings about these genres at the begining of the year
• What is writing to me

Raw Content Excerpt:

• 
  

Production Schedule

In this blog post I will be sharing my production schedule. I plan to get the bulk of the rough cut stuff done this week and then I will be editing and really figuring out the software next week. I will be dedicating Wednesday night to this project so I will have no issue get it all done.

I am quite nervous about creating a video essay in this short period of time but I am quite hopeful!

My Schedule can be found here

Content Outline

In this post I will be providing a link to my content outline for my final project!!!! I will probably be editing my outline as I really figure out what the heck I am doing but the link is interactive and will always show my most recent form of the outline. I am excited to finish this baby up and finally be done with these darn log posts ;)

My outline can be found here

PS: If anyone has any ideas on how to make this more interesting than me just sitting there taking a video of me I would love some feedback :)

Peer Review for Jackson starmer

In this post I will be reviewing Jackson's Video Essay. Jackson is in the 8am section, not my own class. Because I have never done a Video Essay I will be commenting on the content of his work instead of the form and genre conventions because I really know nothing about a Video essay at this point!

Audience Question:
How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

• I used my editorial skills to advise Jackson on some simple content things. Because I have never made a video essay I feel strange critiquing his form so I instead critiqued his content and gave him pointers on the things I found confusing and offered less confusing and more straight forward alternatives that I believed would make his argument even stronger.

Author Response:

• Jackson did not title his work anything related to the content which made me a bit confused right off the bat. He made the intro very interesting and I was very drawn to keep watching and listening but I was not able to really pick up on the argument until the video essay was 2/3 of the way over. I used what I read about public arguments in the Students Guide to advise Jackson to state his argument more explicitly earlier on so that I wouldn't be searching for the argument the entire time. With that being said I really enjoyed watching his video essay and I think it was very well done with a very exciting intro, I just wish the subject of the argument had been clearer earlier.

You can find my peer review for Jackson Starmer here

Peer Review for Nicholas Hoover

In this post I will be providing a peer review for Nicholas Hoover, a student in my section. Nicholas wrote a Standard College Essay and I will be commenting on the genre conventions of his work.

Audience Question:
How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

• I practiced my editorial skills by commenting on the genre conventions of Nick's work. Because I have done a SCE before I feel at liberty to send some pointers his way. I believe that I was able to draw upon my own knowledge as a student in order to help Nick improve his work.

Author Response:

• Nicholas wrote his essay on the Shoddy connectivity of the US internet. He titled his piece "The Costs of Shoddy Connectivity: The Terrible State of the US Internet, and How to Fix It". The title is very informational and lets the reader know what the argument is right off the bat, something I enjoy and think is entirely necessary as it is a genre convention. With that being said I think Nicholas missed the mark on a few other genre conventions. He used a lot of specific information and a lot of numbers yet there are no in-text citations and no works cited page. This worries me as those are two of the most important genre conventions and also make the paper legal as opposed to seeming plagiarized, like he stole information without credit. I think I helped Nicholas by giving him some pointers and reminding him of the Genre conventions that can save his grade and keep him from getting in trouble. I used information I know about the genre from my own experience of writing a SCE in order to comment on Nicholas' and I really appreciated the attention to detail that Nicholas brought to his essay. The work was full of specific information but it still felt like an argument not just a paper.

My peer review for Nicholas can be found here

Reflection on Local Revision Process

In this blog post I will be reflecting on this project as a whole. I will be answering audience questions and providing honest and detailed responses to the best of my ability. I will be assessing how I believe I did as well as what I think I could have and should have done differently.

Audience Questions:
What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

• I successfully put everything together and rerecorded all of my elements in order to avoid stutters and make everything feel more cohesive. I also figured out how to turn up the microphone volume so its easier to hear! I incorporated all of the advice I was given in peer review as it was all very helpful and I think I came out with a successful product.

What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.

• I re-wrote a large portion of my argument as I decided to go a slightly different direction. I had been arguing that shelters should just ban drugs but that's not possible by law so I changed my argument to include other alternatives that I think would be better. because of this change I had to research a lot more info and I had to re-write and rerecord almost my entire script.

How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

• I'm so very nervous for next week. We have 2 weeks for this next project. How crazy is that?? I'm honestly panicking and just hoping that I survive with all of these projects and tests!

How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

• I'm feeling fairly confident about this project but I'm still worried that the argument isn't strong enough. I am confident in my use of genre conventions but I'm nervous about the actual content itself so here's to hoping I did better than I think! 

Editorial Report Numba Two

In this post, much like the last post, I will be providing two links: 1 to my edited version of my podcast and 1 to my final version. I will be talking about the changes I made between the two drafts and what the importance of those changes are.

Audience Questions:
How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• I completely rewrote and rerecorded this section because I did not think it was serving the purpose I needed it to serve. I was concerned that this narrative that was supposed to connect my interest to the issue with the issue itself really just felt out of place with the drug talk so I rewrote it to be less about me and my mom and more about how myself and others are subconsciously aware of the issue. I think the content is easier understood now and fits together better.

How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

• The form really didn't change at all I don't think it's 2 seconds shorter but it is still in about the same place in the podcast and is till entirely spoken by me, I think that the form needed to stay as it was as this is the most successful way for me to present this information.

Author Response:

My Edited Rough cut can be found here:

• Please look at 1:23-1:59

My Final Product can be found here

• Please look at 1:27-1:53

Editorial Report Numba One

In this post I will be providing two links: 1 to my edited version of my podcast and 1 to my final version. I will be talking about the changes I made between the two drafts and what the importance of those changes are.

Audience Questions:
How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• Here I made the song intro much quieter and made my voice considerably louder so it is easier to listen to and easier to hear what I have to say. I also included  a title for my podcast segment, "What I think About That" in order to inform my listener that I would be voicing my opinions in the segment. I think that even though this is a very simple change it was crucial. My voice is much easier to hear now and the introduction seems more like a true podcast intro. 

How did the form change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

•  The for did not change dramatically but the naming of the segment is a genre convention of a podcast so that simple change helped in both the content and form categories. I also think tht quieting the music makes this much more successful as a podcast. 

Author Response:

My Edited Rough cut can be found here:

• Please look at 0:00-0:22

My Final Product can be found here

• Please look at 0:00-0:22

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

In this blog post I will be asking for final critiques and opinions on my final podcast for project 3. I will also be posting a link for peer reviewers to listen to and comment on my podcast before submission!

Audience Question: 
What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?

• Well I'm pretty much done now! So I'm expecting this next week to be a kinda crazy hectic push as we all try and get everything done to cram this last project into just 2 weeks!

Author Response:

Key information about your particular project that you would like anyone who peer reviews your draft to know

• I am arguing from as an advocate for the homeless population and I am arguing for alternative housing to keep drugs away from shelters and from other people.

Major issues or weaknesses in the “Fine Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those weaknesses)

• I feel as though my argument and my own voice isn't very strong, maybe just need some commentary on how to improve or some opnions!

Major virtues or strengths in the “Fine Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those strengths)

Included other info but not sure if I made a clear enough counter argument

•  All of the claims I make are backed up and valiated so I think my argument is very strong from a fact checking point of view

My Final Cut Can be found Here

Peer Review for Erin

In this blog post I will be talking about my peer review for Erin. Erin is a student in he section 6 class and therefore not a student in my section. She created a video essay around the argument of animal rights specifically animals in SeaWorld.

My Peer Review for Erin can be found here

Audience Question:

How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

• I used my editorial skills to advise Erin of a different way to carry her voice to ideally make her video essay more interesting to watch/listen to, and hopefully make her points seem more convincing,

Author response:

• I did a review for Erin's video essay after she posted it for open peer review. Though I have never made a video essay I have made podcast so I feel as though I can honestly critique the audio aspect of her video. I reviewed her final cut and commented on genre conventions. I commented and said that because a video essay is both visual and audible she needed to make sure her audio was as strong as her visual. Right now she has a really solid argument but her voice is so monotone that it's confusing that  she would even want to argue. She seems disengaged and doesn't seem interested in the topic at all. I advised that she change up her tone a wee bit to give her argument more personality and therefore more emotional appeal to the viewer/listener. I did not use the student's guide but instead experience and other genre examples to back up my comments. When I create a video essay starting next week I hope to have visuals that are as strong as Erin's as she made a video that was very interesting to watch. 

Peer Review For Mike D.

In this blog post I will be reviewing Mike. Mike is a stdent in my same section who also did a podcast. Mike did his podcast on the Apple v. Gavernment information conflict.

My Peer review for Mike can be found here

Audience Question:

1. How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

• This week I used my editorial skills to critique Mike on his delivery when recording his podcast.

Author Response:

• I did a Peer Review for Mike D. Mike is creating a podcast like myself and is focusing his argument on phone privacy and security issues. I looked at Mike's Open post to peer reviewers and commented on Genre conventions. I advised Mike to go back through his podcast and located the places where he stutters or stumbles over his words. In his 14 minute podcast he has very few slip ups that the ones that he does have make his podcast seem overly scripted and because his intro and story is so smooth it doesn't seem cohesive. I think this advise is helpful because it will help him generate a better, more podcast like segment. I really admired and enjoyed the life and personality he brought to his podcast and I hope I can do the same.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

In this Post I will be providing a link to my revised version of my Podcast. In order to make it accessible I converted it into a movie and posted in on YouTube but when the final cut is turned in it will be done in an audio only format.

Audience Questions:

1. What are you anticipating the post-production II process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the post-production I phase?

• I still have some work to do honestly. I feel like my argument is weak and I still need to edit a few minutes of audio. I know I can have all of that done by Wednesday so I will still have time for additional peer review. Editing any of my audio shouldn't be too much of a hassle because I recorded it all in small chunks and am now acquainted with the software.

Author Response:

• Well at this point a major weakness is that it isn't completely finished! But the audio has been recorded and is awaiting editing! I underestimated the learning curve I would have when learning how to edit it audio and it ended up soaking up much of my time in the last few days. However I've got it down now and will have a full project finished by Wednesday at the latest! Despite this major flaw I am very confident in what is already produced. I back up my statements with facts and Homeless people's testimonies and I loaded my argument with emotional appeals. I think it is a strong argument but the audio just needs a little tweaking.

My (partial) Final Draft can be found here

Editorial Report Numba Two

In this blog post, much like my last post, I will be providing links to my rough cut and final cut projects to show my progress! I will also be answering audience questions surrounding the differences between the clips.

Audience Questions:

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• This I rerecorded to get rid of my stutter and a lot of the static noise that was in the audio clip. I can't remove the background noise but it is more tolerable now that it had been originally. I think, because the background noise is lessened, it is a lot easier to listen to. Previously the car noise had made listening to that part of the podcast almost intolerable but it's much better now. The removal of the stutter also makes listening to this clip much more tolerable.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

•  The form didn't change a whole lot here is any obvious form. Previously I had recorded the youtube audio with my phone and it honestly sounded awful but recording the youtube video that was on my computer with the recorder on my computer helped remove a lot of the background noise and made this podcast seem more professional and much more composed.

Author Response:

Rough Cut:

• You can find my rough cut here

Final Product:

• You can find my final product here
• Looking at the time 2:25-3:14

Editorial Report Numba One

In this blog post I will be providing links to my rough cut and final cut projects to show my progress! I will also be answering audience questions surrounding the differences between the clips.

Audience Questions:

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• The wording is just slightly different to give it a more personal feel. Additionally I added a personal story as recommended to provide an emotional appeal to my intro. I also added a music clip at the beginning as it is a genre convention. I incorporated the music with me talking to make it seem more genuine.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

•  The Music made this seem more like a podcast and less like a miss-match or audio clips. I think it made the genre come through in a more obvious way and I'm quite happy with it from a form standpoint.

Author Response:

Rough Cut:

• You can find my rough cut here

Final Product:

• You can find my final product here
• Looking at the time 0-2 minutes